I've never actually called an escort before. I've thought about it for a while…that might sound bad, but my sex life is boring! I assure you that it's not for a lack of trying. I mean, I buy my wife all types of lingerie, but she says it's ‘not comfortable.' Sweatpants are her better alternative. Well, right now…Kortney Kane, she's my better alternative. I'm going to fuck tonight; like I want to fuck… and she's going to fucking love it.