I'm in town for this convention, and the group of people I'm with are going out tonight, but I'd rather stay in. See, I'm going to have my own kind of fun, but instead of getting all boozed up, I'm gonna party with Kortney Kane. Yes, Kortney Kane the porn star. It's just going to be me and her in my suite, and she's going to do just what I'm going to ask her to do, because I've paid for it. And she's even supposed to wear that sexy little outfit I requested she bring. All those other idiots will be wasting their money on getting drunk while I'll be getting my dick sucked by a porn star. God, I'm smart.